Whether it’s a coworker who betrayed your trust or roommates who devoured your favorite snack, feeling upset is part of being human — even when it’s not particularly pleasant. When it comes to romance, it can be trickier. Maybe you’ve been seeing someone new, or you’ve been with your partner for a while, and lately, things just feel… off.
It’s not always easy to tell if your relationship is the problem or if you’re just having an off week. But if you find yourself frequently irritated by your partner, skipping date nights, or preferring to hang out with friends instead, it’s natural to wonder whether your relationship is impacting your happiness.
“Rough patches are normal in relationships,” explains Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, speaking to Elite Daily. “Our partners, like us, go through many changes over the course of a relationship. We need to be careful not to automatically attribute changes in emotions or dynamics to falling out of love.”
As relationships evolve, so do our priorities, goals, and emotional rhythms. If you’re beginning to suspect your romantic connection may be affecting your mood, Dr. Klapow highlights four signs you might notice in yourself.
1. You’re Starting to Avoid Your Partner
Maybe you’re leaving their texts on read or telling them you’re busy when, in reality, you’re binge-watching Funny Girl in your pajamas while finishing off your roommates’ Thai leftovers.
“You start avoiding your partner,” explains Dr. Klapow. “You’re not necessarily arguing or angry, but you’re doing more on your own. You check in less, talk less — you simply go about your life solo.”
Independence is healthy, and being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up alone time. But if you consistently prefer solo time over being with your partner, it may be a sign that a check-in is needed.
2. You’re Spending More Time on Yourself
A healthy relationship doesn’t require reshaping your entire schedule around your partner. Maintaining your own hobbies, friendships, and routines is important. However, if you find yourself making more plans without including your partner, it could indicate you need space.
“You may feel generally content and treat your partner kindly,” says Dr. Klapow. “But you fill your schedule with extra work, socializing, or solo activities — more time apart than together.”
Loving your partner doesn’t mean being inseparable. Still, noticing a growing preference for time alone may signal the need to evaluate your emotional needs and boundaries.
3. You Feel Increasing Distance
Emotional distance can be a warning sign. If you notice a widening gap despite your efforts to reconnect, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner.
“When there’s a mismatch or distance that keeps growing even as you try to close it, the relationship may have reached a critical point,” Dr. Klapow notes.
That said, distance isn’t always irreversible. If both partners are committed to reconnecting, open dialogue and intentional listening can help bridge the gap and restore closeness.
4. Other People Are Bringing You More Joy
Sometimes it’s tricky to separate temporary funk from relationship dissatisfaction. If you feel happier around friends, coworkers, or others while your partner seems to bring less joy, it could indicate a problem.
“You notice your happiness comes from interactions outside your relationship,” says Dr. Klapow. “It may be friends, coworkers, or social activities, but not your partner.”
Feeling less joy with your partner doesn’t automatically mean you don’t love them or that a breakup is inevitable. Real-life relationships require communication, respect, boundaries, and compromise — and you deserve to feel fulfilled and happy in your romantic life.
