Saying I’m attentive during dates doesn’t even begin to cover it. I find myself carefully observing every little thing my date does—the choice of drink, the words they pick, the way their right leg keeps bouncing, or how often they touch their lower lip. If you approach date nights with this kind of detective mindset like I do, you’re probably curious about what your partner’s body language during sex really reveals about their emotions at that moment. For instance, what does it mean when you both share kisses during sex? Or when your partner gently kisses or strokes your feet? The way you both communicate physically in bed can say more than words ever could.
Just last week, my friend told me that a guy shoved multiple fingers into her mouth while they were making out. Like, making a dinosaur claw and just sticking his hand in her mouth. Needless to say, I was perplexed.“What does that even mean?” she asked. “Is it like, ‘Mmm, yes, I’m so into this, I want your tongue on my hand?’ Or, like, ‘I need to get away from your mouth for a second, but here, make out with my pointer and middle fingers?’”
I was left with more questions than answers—until I turned to body language specialists Tonya Reiman and Patti Wood for insight. “Fingers in the mouth can signify a few different things,” Reiman explains. “Primarily, it’s often part of an oral fantasy—where the person placing their fingers in their partner’s mouth is living out a personal fantasy. Additionally, it can serve as a kind of ‘taste test,’ where one partner uses their fingers in the other’s mouth to imagine the sensation of self-pleasure and tasting themselves.” Interesting, right?
It turns out that many common gestures—and even some unusual physical signals—can reveal what your partner or hookup is truly feeling. Let’s explore what different body language cues during sex, from playful nips and gentle nibbles to soft kisses on the neck, really say about their emotions in those moments.
The Meaning Behind Touching Your Face and Hair During Intimacy
“When someone strokes your hair or gently touches your face during sex, it usually signals affection,” explains Reiman. “This behavior is deeply instinctual—it shows a desire to connect on a level beyond just the physical. Often, the person who caresses your hair or face has genuine feelings for you or is simply a true romantic.”
Wood adds her perspective: “Research shows we’re naturally drawn to healthy, full hair because it signals good genetics and the potential for healthy offspring. So when someone runs their fingers through your hair, strokes it, or even lightly tugs at it, part of them is thinking, ‘We’d make good babies.’ It’s a subtle, evolutionary signal.” She also notes that someone truly invested in you will pay close attention to your face—not just because they enjoy looking at you, but because they want to read your reactions to their touch.
If your partner carefully brushes your hair or cups your cheek during sex, it’s often a sign they have strong feelings for you and, even if only subconsciously, see you as someone special. On the other hand, if they avoid touching your face altogether, they may be emotionally more distant.
When Tongue Takes Over During Kisses
“They might be new to intimacy or feeling a strong urge,” explains Reiman. “Using a lot of tongue is their way of expressing a desire to explore every part of you. Usually, their body movements match the tongue’s pace—if the tongue is quick, their whole approach tends to be just as fast.”
In essence, if your partner is heavy on the tongue, it often means they want you—and they want you right now. That said, they might not even realize how much tongue they’re actually using. So if you find it a bit overwhelming, don’t hesitate to gently let them know. “The tongue is a powerful muscle, and often people aren’t aware when they’re overusing it,” Reiman adds.
When They Hold You Tight by the Waist
“This is mostly about positioning,” says Reiman. “One key reason to grab your waist is to pull you closer for deeper thrusts—or to admire your curves, which can heighten sexual excitement. This is possibly evolution doing its thing.”
Put simply, your partner is likely holding you this way to connect more deeply with your body—both physically and mentally—especially if they’re the penetrating partner. They want to feel how well your bodies fit together.
They Touch Your Forehead: A Symbol of Deep Connection
When you find yourselves forehead-to-forehead, it’s often a sign of strong mutual feelings. Wood describes this as a “beautifully symbolic” gesture. “It shows a desire to be on the same wavelength,” she explains. “Head to head, it’s like saying, ‘I want to share your thoughts, to connect deeply with your mind.’”
On the other hand, a forehead kiss might carry a different meaning. Wood points out that these kisses, or those on the top of the head, stem from a “paternal” and “nurturing” instinct. While it doesn’t imply your partner sees you as a child, it doesn’t hold the same emotional depth as that mind-connecting forehead touch.
They Give Gentle Bites or Nibbles
If your partner is nibbling on you, it’s usually about increasing excitement and pleasure—not causing pain. Reiman explains, “Arousal increases blood flow, making certain areas more sensitive. A gentle bite or nibble triggers endorphin release, turning what could be pain into pleasure.”
They Nuzzle Your Neck: A Sign of Emotional Intimacy
“The neck is a highly sensitive erogenous zone,” says Reiman. “Nuzzling it shows an emotional bond.” She adds that eye contact combined with neck-nuzzling during sex are strong signs your partner is emotionally engaged, not just seeking a casual hookup. Conversely, avoiding eye contact and nuzzling can indicate they’re keeping an emotional barrier despite physical closeness.
“Nuzzling may not be as emotionally loaded as eye contact during sex, but it still signals connection,” Reiman says. “Without these gestures, the encounter tends to be more physical than intimate.”
They Spend Time Touching Your Hands and Feet
If a new partner lingers on your feet, it might not be about a foot fetish. Wood explains that focusing on extremities like hands or feet can signal nervousness—these areas feel safer than more intimate parts or even your face. “It’s sexy, but it also keeps some distance,” she notes. “Touching feet or fingers feels like a safer way to connect.”
They Hold Your Hands During Intimacy
While hands don’t have as many nerve endings to turn you on, holding hands during sex shows your partner wants to express closeness. Wood says, “Holding hands is about maintaining a tender connection. It’s less about passion or lust and more about intimacy and emotional bonding.”
