“Come just as you are to me / Don’t need apologies … There is no fear now / Let go and just be free.” These lyrics from Katy Perry’s smash hit “Unconditionally” perfectly capture what unconditional love is all about. It’s a kind of love that lets you be honest and true to yourself, even when that means making mistakes or showing your less-than-perfect side. Because, let’s be real—we all have those moments.
But how do you know if you’ve found unconditional love? What are the signs that your significant other loves you unconditionally?
First, it’s important to understand how unconditional love differs from the early stages of falling in love. Falling in love often comes with feelings of security and attachment, along with that unmistakable, thrilling rush. But unconditional love is something deeper and more enduring. As the name suggests, it’s love without conditions—no “ifs,” no “buts.” It’s love in its purest, most accepting form. Honestly, does it get any more romantic than that?
Unconditional love offers a unique sense of safety. When someone loves you unconditionally, you feel free to let your guard down and be your authentic self without fearing harsh judgment, criticism, or abandonment. You can be vulnerable—and vulnerability is the gateway to true intimacy.
Wondering if your partner loves you unconditionally? Relationship expert April Masini suggests looking out for these signs:
They take care of you when you’re under the weather.
How your partner acts when you’re sick is a surprisingly solid indicator of how they feel about you. According to April Masini, if they’re eager to take care of you when you’re feeling miserable, that’s a sign of unconditional love. Think about it—if they’re holding your hair back while you’re throwing up or bringing you fresh tissues when you’re sneezing nonstop, that shows they love you in all your forms—even when you’re looking and feeling a bit rough.
“Whether you’re bedridden and they have to bring you food and do your laundry because you’re too sick to do it yourself, or they’re taking you to follow-up exams after a serious illness or accident—unconditional love means you’re there for each other, not just when you look cute and are functioning at your best,” Masini explains.
And I can personally attest to this one. Just four months into dating my boyfriend, I was hospitalized with a serious kidney infection. The way he showed up for me—grabbing my clothes, bringing my favorite foods, staying by my side every night until the nurses kicked him out, and even making jokes about how sexy I looked in my hospital gown to make me laugh—opened my eyes to how strong our bond really was. That’s unconditional love, right there.
You screwed up—and they got over it.
It can be earth-shattering to realize your partner isn’t perfect. When you’re first falling in love, it’s easy to overlook flaws because you’re caught up in the spark. But eventually, mistakes happen, and sometimes those mistakes upset your partner.
If they love you unconditionally (and your mistake didn’t completely break their trust), they’ll likely forgive and move forward.
“Unconditional love means you can admit your worst mistakes—whether career, financial, relationship, or health—and your partner will still be empathetic and loyal,” Masini says. “Whether you forgot to pay your taxes or quit a job on a whim and regretted it later, your partner understands you’re human. They love you anyway.”
They have your back, no matter what.
When your partner loves you unconditionally, they’re always in your corner—even in the messiest, most uncomfortable situations. For example, if you have a tense argument with a family member at Thanksgiving, or mutual friends gossip behind your back at a party, your partner won’t hesitate to defend you.
“If your partner stands up for you and risks social standing just because they have your back—that’s unconditional love,” Masini says.
In other words, your partner doesn’t love you only when it’s easy or convenient. They prove their love by standing by you through thick and thin.
You’re vulnerable with each other.
Emotional safety means feeling free to tell your partner anything, no matter how vulnerable you feel—and knowing they’ll do the same. Maybe your partner admits feeling scared about moving in together, or they share that something you said hurt them. They do this because they trust that your love is strong enough to hold their fears and insecurities.
“If your partner believes you share unconditional love, they feel safe with you,” Masini explains. “They know they can tell you what keeps them awake at 3 a.m., and you’ll be empathetic and loyal.”
This works both ways, too. If you feel secure enough to share your deepest thoughts and fears, you’re likely loving them unconditionally as well.
“Unconditional love builds trust in a relationship,” Masini says. “It lets you both be your unique selves without fear of rejection. When you have it, you feel confident you can go the distance together.”
Of course, building this kind of bond takes time. So if you’re not there yet, don’t stress. To see if you and your partner have the potential for unconditional love, you’ll need to experience that they’ll still be there for you when you’re at your worst—whether you’re rocking the same leggings for three days straight while battling the flu, or admitting something you’re ashamed of.
And when you get there, you’ll finally understand what Katy Perry meant when she sang:
“All your insecurities / All the dirty laundry / Never made me blink one time.”
How’s that for #relationshipgoals?
