You and your ex have been apart for a while now, and you’re finally feeling like yourself again — you’ve moved on, stopped dwelling on the breakup, and, to quote the ever-wise Hilary Duff, “they’re so yesterday.” So, why do they keep making appearances in your dreams? Is this a terrible sign that you’re secretly not over them? Or could it simply be that everything going on lately has stirred up old thoughts that are now showing up in your sleep?
Having dreams about an ex can feel pretty unsettling, especially if you’re in a new relationship. But before jumping to conclusions, Stephanie Gailing, dream expert and author of The Complete Book of Dreams, tells Bustle, “It’s always important to look at the context of your real-life experiences to help understand what your dreams might be reflecting.”
For instance, dreaming of an ex now might carry a completely different meaning than if it had happened a few months ago. “The waking-life context is key to unlocking the insights and messages our dreams can offer,” Gailing explains.
The upside? Dreaming about an ex is incredibly common — and according to the dream interpretation site Dream Moods, it doesn’t automatically mean you still have feelings for them. Below, we’ll look at some of the most common reasons why an ex might still show up in your dreams, even after you’ve mentally and emotionally moved on.
Running Into an Ex — In Your Dreams
Simply seeing an ex in a dream can carry a range of meanings — some a bit deep, others completely harmless. According to DreamMoods, a dream featuring an ex might reflect that someone in your current life shares similar traits or brings up emotions you once felt in that past relationship. On the other hand, it could just be your mind revisiting positive memories you had together — no hidden meaning attached.
When You Dream About Getting Close With Your Ex
Dreams about getting physical with an ex are often tied to lingering hesitation or uncertainty about starting something new — whether it’s a relationship or a different life chapter.
What It Means to Feel Dismissed by an Ex in a Dream
Dreaming that your ex is brushing you off — much like they did in the final stretch of your actual relationship? According to DreamMoods, that’s your subconscious nudging you to let go — the same advice your friends have probably been giving you in real life.
Dreaming of Tension or Fights With Your Ex
Arguing with your ex in a dream can suggest that something or someone in your present life is stirring up emotions similar to those you experienced during that past relationship.
The Meaning Behind Dreams of Reconciliation
Dreaming about reuniting with an ex doesn’t automatically mean you want to give things another try. According to DreamMoods, these dreams can stem from real feelings of longing but might also be triggered by significant changes in your current relationship or how far you’ve moved on from past ones. That’s why it’s common for brides-to-be to have dreams about exes just before their weddings.
Dreams That Bring Up Feelings of Missing Your Ex
Sometimes, dreaming about reuniting with an ex does suggest you still have lingering feelings for them. But other times, it simply reflects a deeper sense of missing companionship and the desire to feel valued and wanted
When You Dream That Your Ex Misses You
Dreaming that an ex is still attached to you might suggest that you’re nostalgic for certain parts of that past relationship. On the other hand, it could simply indicate that you’ve truly moved forward with your life.
Dreams Where an Ex Shares Wisdom
Why is the guy who left you while you were browsing Christmas decorations at Target suddenly appearing in your dreams, offering advice about your current partner? That’s your subconscious nudging you not to repeat the mistakes you made with that ex.
Dreaming of a Former Flame From Long Ago
Dreaming about the person who shared that first kiss at your middle school dance, only to break up with you the next day in pre-algebra? According to DreamMoods, dreaming of a childhood ex may reflect a desire to reclaim the excitement, freedom, and energy of your youth—whether in your current relationship or life in general.
Dreaming of Your Partner’s Ex: What It Could Signal
Dreaming about your current partner’s ex might suggest that you’re comparing yourself to them. Since dreams often reflect what’s on our minds during the day, this could be a sign to acknowledge and work through any feelings you have about your partner’s past relationship.
Dreams Involving Your Ex’s Relatives
Dreaming about your ex’s mother making an appearance might indicate that there are still some unresolved feelings or issues connected to your past relationship.
Dreams Where Your Ex Is Ill: Understanding the Meaning
If you dream about caring for an ex while they’re recovering or simply see them in a hospital, it could suggest that you’re still processing the breakup and the emotions that came with it.
What It Means to Dream of Your Ex’s Death
Dreaming about the death of someone you know can be unsettling, and when it’s an ex—especially one you might prefer not to think about—it can feel even more intense. Sometimes, the harsh things said in the heat of a breakup can add to that emotional weight, leaving you with a lingering sense of guilt the next day.
However, such dreams are usually symbolic. They often represent how you’ve let go of the past and are ready to move forward, fully embracing new relationships. So, it likely doesn’t mean you actually wish harm on your ex, no matter what you might have joked about after a few drinks.
